I am a nice girl. I smile and laugh a lot, I’m usually approachable as long as you’re not being rude, and I’ll even carry on a conversation with you if you’re nice . In all seriousness, I go to the gym to do work: not to pick up my next boyfriend. Now, I did meet Jim at the gym, so I understand that the gym IS one of the places where you can meet a potential mate; Jim’s courtship of me was not overt, it was not creepy, and I never felt like I was being leered at or undressed with someone’s eyes. Guys, if you want to pick up a girl from your gym, here’s how NOT to do it:
1. Don’t stare
: I know, I know – we’re in spandex and we’re sweating. The combination of those 2 things is way more than you need to get your heart racing, but before you start picturing what we look like naked, take a step back and avert your eyes. We don’t mind the occasional glance or smile or nod, but when you take a break in between sets and make it a point to openly stare at us with your mouth open, it’s going to creep us out – for good. I will usually take my exercise somewhere else, or just abort my workout all together when this starts to happen. It’s just creepy.
2. Don’t interrupt us in the middle of a set:
There is nothing more frustrating than letting my heart rate drop for a guy who motions for me to take my ipod out and says, “Hey, it looks like you workout a lot.” Really? You interrupted my workout for that gem? No. You stand a better chance of a woman being receptive to your advances if you respect her enough to wait until she’s done with her set or with her workout, and approach her when it’s convenient for her,
not for you.
3. Don’t say, “Hey, you look like you like to lift,” or some other awful opening line:
I know that it’s an ice-breaker and that you’re nervous. But stating the obvious won’t get you anywhere. Especially when we hear this ALL THE TIME. Seriously. I hear it at least 3 times a week. And I only lift 4 times a week. Instead of telling us what we already know, say something like, “I notice that you like to deadlift a lot. Have you thought about doing sumo deads instead, to hit the muscle differently?” This tells us 2 things: 1) you’re paying attention to what we’re doing in the gym, and 2) you aren’t just trying to talk to us to get in our pants. We respect this a lot more, and will gladly start a conversation about the pros and cons of sumo deads. This will open up the door for other topics, and we’ll probably say hi and talk to you again the next time we see you in the gym.
4. Don’t blatantly check out my lady lumps
: This goes hand-in-hand with #1, and it should go without saying that staring at my girly bits will get you nowhere. Especially if it’s followed by elbowing your buddies and pointing in my direction. It’s creepy, it’s gross, and we will NEVER give you the green light if you even do this ONCE. No, sir!
It’s really not difficult, I promise. Jim was obviously successful in picking me up from the gym: we’ve been dating for 5 years. But Jim was a gentleman. He was respectful, funny, charming, and he got to know me for a few weeks before he actually asked me out on a date. If you have your eye on a certain lady at the gym, subtly let her know that you notice her and approach her when she’s leaving the gym or when she’s taking a break during her workout. Talk about things that no other meathead would notice: the brand of lifting gloves she’s chosen, what’s on her ipod, whether she prefers military press or push presses to hit her shoulders, if she does drop sets or rest-pause to help her with plateaus……….just anything OTHER than the obvious, “Hey, so it looks like you workout a lot.” Women like to be noticed, but we do not like to be creeped out by being stared at or treated like a piece of meat. Be classy, be cool, and you’ll get your date!
Beth is an NPC
figure competitor and has been competing for 3 years. When she’s not rocking the stage in her stiletto heels, she’s either at work as Project Manager at a Pharmaceutical company in Durham, NC
or she’s in the gym training clients or teaching spin classes. In her very minimal free time, Beth likes to sleep, eat, play with her dog, and spend time with her boyfriend and friends (who also like to sleep and eat).