Changes

It’s a word that makes most of us rather uneasy, because it implies making things different from the norm.  Humans are creatures of habit: we like things to be the same.  Every day, I wake up at 7, cook breakfast, pack up my meals for the day, take the dog out, go to work, go to the gym, come home, eat dinner, shower, walk the pooch, and go to bed.  That’s my routine, Monday through Friday.  Any time this routine gets disrupted in some manner, it throws me off my game.  Recently, I have experienced some major life changes, and I am struggling, both mentally and physically.  This article is going to include a lot of self-reflection and will be pretty candid.  I hope anyone out there who has faced challenging, unexpected changes can relate. I will be starting a new job in March, and I’m very excited.  I’m switching companies, but will be in the same line of work (Pharmaceutical project management).  I’m leaving my current company with a heavy heart: I really like my manager and have learned a lot from her.  We have a great working relationship, and I feel awful for leaving her.  But my new job is one that I couldn’t refuse: it is going to be an excellent opportunity for career growth and development.  AND…….I’ll no longer have to sit in traffic every morning!  All joking aside, this is one change with which I can actually get on board.  I’m looking forward to meeting new people, being productive, and helping my new company to succeed. The next change is a very personal one.  I debated whether or not I should even write about this for a long time, because there are some things that I don’t think should be shared with the general public.  But I represent a company that promotes hard work, honesty, compassion, and wellness.  To me, wellness has both physical and mental components, which is why I’ve decided to share this.  Not too long ago, I parted ways from a very devoted, sincere, trust-worthy person.  This person has always been 100% supportive of my every endeavor and has loved me unconditionally for the last 5 years.  But, like most long relationships, feelings and attitudes change.  Suffice it to say, the relationship has ended and we’re both very distraught.  We’re lost without each other, we’re lonely, we’re confused, and we’re scared.  It’s been difficult for me to navigate through my daily routine without a partner and without companionship.  Some days I feel fine, others I feel miserable.  My mental state has affected my workouts and my diet pretty significantly.  I haven’t been eating much of anything and have lost about 5 pounds.  I have immediately noticed a difference in the gym, too.  I’ve had to drop weight on some exercises, and I find I just don’t have the extra “oomph” I need to get through my workouts.  No matter how hard I try, I can’t eat more, and I can’t focus in the gym; half of the time, I just feel like crying.  I know with each day that passes, things will get easier; time heals all wounds, after all.  I have felt similar pain before and I’ve persevered, so there’s nothing that leads me to believe that I can’t do it again. To anyone who is down on their luck, who is hurting, or to anyone who feels a dull, awful ache in their heart: I feel you.  You’ll get through it, and you’ll be a better person for it.  Sometimes change can be good: it makes us stronger, tougher, and better able to face similar challenges in the future.  So, go about your daily routines, and be comforted by their stability.  Understand that with each passing day, the pain will lessen, until you wake up one day and it’s completely gone.  You’ll wake up with a smile and you’ll know that you’ve made it to the other side.  I hope and pray that the person to whom I refer in this article finds peace, happiness, and comfort.  And as for me?  I hope to just make it through another day without my best friend.   Beth is an NPC and OCB figure competitor and has been competing for 3 years.  When she’s not rocking the stage in her stiletto heels, she’s either at work as Project Manager at a Pharmaceutical company in Durham, NC or she’s in the gym training clients or teaching spin classes.  In her very minimal free time, Beth likes to sleep, eat, play with her dog, and spend time with her friends.